Episode 178

Power of the Pause with Jillian Pransky

Published on: 29th December, 2025

How can we practice the power of the pause? In this week's episode of the Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill sits down with meditation and yoga teacher Jillian Pransky to explore this profound concept. They dive into the bardo, a transitional state perfect for reflection, and share practical steps from Jillian's LAR LAR method (Land, Arrive, Relax, Listen, Attend, Respond, Repeat) designed to help you cultivate a calmer and more intentional life. Jillian also highlights ways to infuse these practices into your daily routine for a smoother transition into the new year. You'll also get a preview of Diana's new weekly saga Dharma talks and meditations. Join them in learning to pause, reflect, and enter 2026 with wise effort.

Listen and learn:

  1. An in-depth look at Jillian Pransky's LAR LAR method and how it can transform your life
  2. The importance of grounding and breath in calming the nervous system
  3. How to create space for your emotions and respond more wisely

Related Resources

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

Diana's Events

Connecting With Diana

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:

Wise Effort Retreat in Costa Rica 2026

Join Diana at Blue Spirit in Costa Rica to focus your energy on what matters most to you.

Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

Transcript
Speaker:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

2

:

How can we practice

the power of the pause?

3

:

That's what we're gonna explore today with

Jillian Pransky on the Wise Effort Show.

4

:

Welcome back.

5

:

I'm Dr.

6

:

Diana Hill, so glad you're here.

7

:

We're in this little bit of a bardo here

if you're listening to this in real time.

8

:

The week between Christmas and New Year's

when everything starts to slow down.

9

:

I went out to take my car to the car

wash today, and the streets were empty.

10

:

In my little town of Santa Barbara,

the carwash line was empty.

11

:

I was like the only one in line.

12

:

It was so surprisingly.

13

:

Slow and sweet on this Sunday

afternoon, this Sunday evening.

14

:

That word bardo in, uh, Tibetan

Buddhism, that means the in-between

15

:

state that we're in, and it's

a really good time to reflect.

16

:

This week we're gonna have a

couple of episodes coming out.

17

:

We're gonna have this episode, which

is the Power of the Pause with Jillian

18

:

Pransky, who I met in Costa Rica.

19

:

In our own version of a Bardo, we

were both putting our schedules

20

:

up for the next day in the, in the

dining hall of Blue Spirit Costa Rica.

21

:

So Blue Spirit is this beautiful

retreat center that I hope you're

22

:

gonna be joining me at in April.

23

:

It's incredible.

24

:

And it's this indoor outdoor

dining area, and every day we put

25

:

up our schedule for the next day.

26

:

So Jillian was teaching

her yoga and meditation.

27

:

Retreat alongside me while, while I was

teaching a Wise Effort retreat and we'd

28

:

peek over at each other's schedules

and we were both slightly jealous.

29

:

We wanted to go to each other's workshops.

30

:

Hers always seemed so relaxing and

slow and lovely and full of ritual.

31

:

And as you will hear today,

that is exactly how she is.

32

:

Jillian is a meditation and yoga teacher.

33

:

She's been teaching at Kiker, Palo and

Omega for over 30 years, and she actually

34

:

taught alongside, uh, PMA children as

the yoga teacher for PMA Children's.

35

:

In person workshops for over 27 years.

36

:

So she infuses a lot of these

beautiful Buddhist teachings with

37

:

her own deep understanding of

the body and embodiment into her

38

:

method, which is the lar la method.

39

:

And she's gonna walk us through it today.

40

:

So you will hear her walking us through

these steps of landing, arriving.

41

:

Relaxing, listening,

allowing and responding.

42

:

La la She's gonna give us each and every

piece , and it'll be in real time, so

43

:

you'll experience it as she teaches it.

44

:

I'm also gonna be offering

something very new on this

45

:

podcast, which is my weekly saga.

46

:

Dharma talk.

47

:

So every week I give a live Dharma talk

to a group of people in Santa Barbara, and

48

:

I'm gonna be recording them and sharing

them here for you alongside the meditation

49

:

that I'll be putting up on Insight timer.

50

:

So it'll be a place for you to

just be part of a little SGA

51

:

with me and uh, practice with me.

52

:

This is part of my own evolution

as a therapist and a coach.

53

:

I'm constantly evolving, figuring out what

works, what doesn't work, and using my own

54

:

wise effort method in that evolution, and

it requires a pause in order to do that.

55

:

So I hope that during this transitional

time, in this bardo between Christmas

56

:

and New Year's, you have an opportunity

to pause yourself to practice a

57

:

little bit of what Jillian Pransky.

58

:

Teaches us, but also to start

to reflect for yourself on what

59

:

it means to enter into 2026.

60

:

With wise effort, how can you continue

to do the things that are working for

61

:

you, the things that are nourishing

to you, that are a reflection of

62

:

your inner beauty, your genius?

63

:

How can you discontinue and stop?

64

:

The things that are draining you,

that are not aligned with your values,

65

:

the courage to choose even with the

consequences that may be uncomfortable,

66

:

the courage to choose to stop some things.

67

:

How can you start doing some things

that are aligned with your genius?

68

:

How can you play bigger?

69

:

How can you get out of the mold and

the routine and the rules that your

70

:

mind is keeping you stuck in so that

you can have the life that you really

71

:

want and the fullest expression of you?

72

:

And then finally, how can you prevent,

how can you set up things ahead of

73

:

time to make your path , a little

bit smoother, a little bit easier?

74

:

And all of that happens in the pause.

75

:

So enjoy this conversation with my

good friend Jillian Pransky, and go

76

:

order her book, the Power of the Pause.

77

:

It'll arrive right on time for you in

the new year to begin with wiser efforts.

78

:

So let's work through this process, and

you call it the la la L-A-R-L-A-R process.

79

:

In your book, your book has a,

has a chapter on each of these.

80

:

It's very, it's very, um, it's the

weaving of your story, but then very

81

:

practical and, uh, not overwhelming.

82

:

And the first L in, in Lars is land.

83

:

Land and you like, you

physically mean land.

84

:

Jillian Pransky: Oh yeah.

85

:

Oh, oh Yeah.

86

:

Physically and, and you know, my

perspective, if that's all you learn

87

:

how to do, like if that's just the one

thing you master in this lifetime or

88

:

this week or this year or this decade,

that's enough to be a game changer.

89

:

Um, that was born out of, you know, my

panic and my anxiety and my tension.

90

:

I came to realize as a

restorative yoga expert where my

91

:

tension lies and how I hold it.

92

:

Um,

93

:

when I actually realized that I could

lie down in my bed at night and not

94

:

be allowing my mattress to hold me up.

95

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

96

:

Mmm.

97

:

Jillian Pransky: What was that?

98

:

What was I, what am, how am

I participating in a way that

99

:

I'm holding myself together?

100

:

So much that I'm not letting go into

the mattress that I'm sleeping on.

101

:

And you might not think that's

possible, but it's possible.

102

:

, Even as I

103

:

wake up in the middle of the

night over and over again, I

104

:

tension release, I find that I'm

105

:

in my neck, shoulders.

106

:

But you know, you might, this might

be good imagery and then I'll bring

107

:

us through, you know, just a landing.

108

:

Um, I liken it to if you've ever

held an infant, the same infant who

109

:

was awake and active and interested

in the world around them, and then

110

:

that same infant who fell asleep.

111

:

They are literally like

two different weights.

112

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

113

:

Yeah.

114

:

Jillian Pransky: And when they

fall asleep and they really just

115

:

surrender, they might even be doubled.

116

:

Their weight.

117

:

I don't know.

118

:

But you can feel it.

119

:

We barely take that time to

surrender and fall asleep.

120

:

We are like that active baby.

121

:

Stressed all the time, so even with

that mattress underneath us, we

122

:

might think we're going to bed, but

are we really releasing our weight

123

:

into the support that's there?

124

:

And it's not just the act of

knowing there's support there,

125

:

it's trusting it will hold us up.

126

:

So it's a, it's one thing.

127

:

My teachings begin with literally sensing

the tactile support under your body,

128

:

the chair, the couch, the wood floor.

129

:

It's helpful and it's also meaningful

to me to remind people that what's ever

130

:

under your body under that is the earth.

131

:

And it's not just the

earth, it's our earth.

132

:

Which begins to soothe

us a little bit more.

133

:

And you know, maybe referring to it as

the whole planet is literally under your

134

:

body and just getting people to come down

to sense that there's something there.

135

:

And then step number two would be

being willing to let it hold you up.

136

:

Trusting it will hold you up.

137

:

And I don't just do that once.

138

:

I do that all day long.

139

:

You know, it's like I don't just do

it at the beginning of a meditation

140

:

or the beginning of the relaxation.

141

:

I circle back and circle back.

142

:

And I don't just do it when

I wake up in the morning.

143

:

I land, uh, if not 20 times

a day,:

144

:

Remembering their support

and even in one breath.

145

:

But you might imagine a sand timer, an

hourglass, and the way it empties the

146

:

sand from the top half to the bottom, if,

um, we could take three breaths together

147

:

and just let that sand drain down.

148

:

Yeah, so you might imagine

an hourglass in your body,

149

:

an hourglass.

150

:

And on the next exhale.

151

:

Imagine the sand, the heaviness,

the weight draining from your

152

:

head down to your shoulders,

153

:

and on the next, from the shoulders

down through the torso as you're

154

:

lowering towards the support.

155

:

And one more breath, maybe

exhaling up the mouth, letting

156

:

your whole body land in the spot.

157

:

Where you are here

158

:

now?

159

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

160

:

You write that, um.

161

:

Landing is the foundation we need to feel

safe enough to pause and you go on to

162

:

say, if we wanna feel safe, we begin with

learning to sense support, we return to

163

:

remember the ground underneath our bodies.

164

:

And remember, there is a

whole earth underneath us.

165

:

We welcome, welcome ourselves back home

into our body, on the earth, on our life.

166

:

Partner the earth again and again.

167

:

This is your first practice in the

book and, um, I just, I mean, you

168

:

can, I feel dramatically different

from that 20 seconds of landing.

169

:

I love the hourglass.

170

:

It's so good.

171

:

Such a good visual.

172

:

Yeah.

173

:

I.

174

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah.

175

:

You know, I, I shifted to

even leading the practice.

176

:

Um.

177

:

So important for those who are therapists

or those who are teachers listening.

178

:

As we offer the practice, we also shift.

179

:

And, um, if I could share, like, um, I

don't know if this is TMI, but you know,

180

:

landing myself even in this practice, you

know, I felt like I'm carrying a little,

181

:

carrying a little tenderness today.

182

:

Like I'm.

183

:

I'm holding a little sadness with

everything that's happening right

184

:

now, and I think it's a farce to think

that we're gonna do these practices,

185

:

we're gonna land so we can be okay.

186

:

You know, we're

187

:

gonna land so we can be happy.

188

:

We're gonna land so we can be

light and bright and ready to go.

189

:

Like I just landed with you in

real time and discovered I was sad.

190

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

191

:

Yeah.

192

:

Jillian Pransky: So we don't know.

193

:

You know, the landing gives us a place to

recognize how we truly are, and that is a

194

:

safety, it's kind of ignoring how we are.

195

:

That can also leave us feeling unsafe.

196

:

So I didn't mean to like bring a tin

of sadness into our conversation,

197

:

but it was true for me right now.

198

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

199

:

When we land it allows us then

to tend to those experiences

200

:

that are, that are already there.

201

:

Like our nervous system is

protecting against them.

202

:

It doesn't wanna go there, but

it doesn't mean it's not there.

203

:

The sadness was there,

204

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah.

205

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

206

:

but until we land, do we recognizing

and tend to and, and be with it, which,

207

:

um, your next step of arriving, which

is, you know, one would think these

208

:

are the same thing, isn't landing just

arriving, but, you write that arriving

209

:

is the act of interrupting our stress

response with a deep, full, slow breath.

210

:

So there's, there's a landing,

then there's arriving.

211

:

I.

212

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah, so, so I have been

doing this practice, you know, for decades

213

:

and me sensing my sadness so quickly might

not be, um, available to a lot of people.

214

:

Like, we don't normally just like

all of a sudden like drop and

215

:

be like, oh, that's how I am.

216

:

Usually that can become after

we like, maybe are a little more

217

:

conscious about checking in.

218

:

So some people might just land

and, and just literally like.

219

:

Oh, okay.

220

:

I'm here

221

:

arriving.

222

:

But the dichotomy of being

here now, arriving now, now is

223

:

kind of infinitely changing.

224

:

There's like an ever new now and

people think of grounding as LA

225

:

and landing as like, oh, I'm here.

226

:

I'm like, I'm at home base.

227

:

I'm gonna stay right here.

228

:

And I got like, it's a, it's a place,

but, but the arriving ever flow of

229

:

the ever new now breath brings air and

brings space and brings the continuity

230

:

of newness into the place that we are.

231

:

It's not like if we just land, sometimes

we can also freeze in that place.

232

:

You know?

233

:

Like it can be like,

okay, pause, which means.

234

:

Um, I'm just gonna like block

everything out for a second and

235

:

that's actually not what we're doing.

236

:

We're pausing so we can

lean more in to the moment.

237

:

And so the arriving on

the breath is, is twofold.

238

:

It allows the breath to arrive on

its own, which it actually does.

239

:

We allow ourself to be breathed

and the breath deepen, which

240

:

directly affects our nervous system.

241

:

It starts to.

242

:

Send messages up the vagus nerve, it calms

the amygdala by breathing more deeply.

243

:

So we literally start to shift the

nervous system, um, physiologically,

244

:

neurologically through a deeper breath.

245

:

We land on the ground, we allow the breath

to arrive in our body, but I add, we

246

:

allow our mind to arrive on our breath.

247

:

As a way of opening up a sense of

spaciousness and, um, presence.

248

:

Real presence.

249

:

Presence isn't fixed.

250

:

It's not here.

251

:

Down on the ground in the spot.

252

:

Presence is I am in the spot.

253

:

So I can see the more spacious new now.

254

:

And the arriving is a presencing moment.

255

:

It's the breath is

present in us, it arrives.

256

:

We happen to get that hit.

257

:

In our nervous system, but we also

bring our mind into a more open state.

258

:

We land on the ground, and I like to use

the sand timer again, and as we imagine

259

:

our weight on the ground for a breath

or three, we could imagine the breath

260

:

arriving in our clear upper hourglass

261

:

and as the breath arrives on its own.

262

:

Even just one breath, calming and filling

your clear upper hourglass on its own.

263

:

Let your mind arrive on the breath.

264

:

Let your mind rest on the arriving breath,

265

:

which allows us to be

more grounded and present.

266

:

We land.

267

:

Arrive, sure they can happen in tandem.

268

:

Um, they often do.

269

:

Just allowing our body to be

on the ground starts to release

270

:

tension, and then the breath just

starts to have more space in us.

271

:

There starts to be less tension and

therefore more diaphragmatic movement.

272

:

So arriving is invited to initiate,

um, on its own, but we can our

273

:

attention to that on purpose.

274

:

And I think once we're more grounded and

present, even if that only took three

275

:

breaths, we start to notice where we're

resisting, grounding, and presence more.

276

:

It starts to become more conscious,

how my jaw is clenching, how my

277

:

fists are curled, how my shoulders

after 30 years after a lifetime are

278

:

still in my shoulders, you know?

279

:

I've been teaching this for so

long and because I get in the mood

280

:

so quickly, people think I'm like

a groovy, relaxed kind of girl.

281

:

I am not.

282

:

I'm not inherently relaxed.

283

:

I'm not inherently relaxed.

284

:

I am

285

:

a expert re relaxer I am

really good at continually

286

:

relaxing.

287

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

288

:

Yeah.

289

:

And with practice, you can,

you, you, you do get there more

290

:

Jillian Pransky: Mm-hmm.

291

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

292

:

that mantra that the, the

repetition of the mantra, um.

293

:

For me, the sound of a bell because my,

you know, so much practice around the

294

:

bell and the continuation of the bell

on every device in my home and the, so

295

:

whenever the bell happens, or even if

I'm, I'm like traveling in a church bell.

296

:

Rings in a town, my nervous

system, like I land and I arrive

297

:

and I arrive back at the breath.

298

:

So the repetition of it just means

that we can find it maybe more quickly

299

:

and then can find, as you were talking

about that clear upper hourglass.

300

:

For me, when you're talking about sadness,

it's the clarity to see the sadness

301

:

because when all the sand is up there.

302

:

You can't really see clearly

what the experience is that

303

:

this hourglass is holding.

304

:

So the hourglass is holding sadness,

or for me, it's holding exhaustion.

305

:

That's actually clear.

306

:

It's clarity.

307

:

So we have land, we have arrive,

and this is your pause method that

308

:

is outlined so beautifully and

includes, you have meditations that

309

:

people can download from the book.

310

:

You're getting a sense of Gillian

and her, um, ability to guide

311

:

you quickly and beautifully to

these places, and then her voice.

312

:

So you'll get these meditations with

the book, but the third step is.

313

:

Relax.

314

:

Now, this is the one that

sometimes, I was actually working

315

:

with a, a client yesterday and

I was like, okay, let you know.

316

:

Let's have you lie down on the,

the couch and I'm gonna guide

317

:

you through a visualization.

318

:

And as soon as he laid down on the couch,

he was like, this is making me anxious.

319

:

As soon as I approach relaxation

or thinking that I'm supposed

320

:

to relax, I get more anxious.

321

:

So sometimes even the

word relax makes people.

322

:

Scared

323

:

because they can't feel, they

feel like they can't relax.

324

:

So walk us through what you mean by relax.

325

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah.

326

:

And that, that is, I would

say that's a lot of the book,

327

:

um, because not only, um, hmm.

328

:

You know, not only our newsfeed

for the past decade, but we're

329

:

wired to look for danger.

330

:

We're wired not to relax.

331

:

We're wired to stay alert, so it might

be in the best service of our survival.

332

:

Um, and you mentioned Bells.

333

:

I just wanna, uh, share in my book,

there's a great Ethan Ter quote,

334

:

but Bells resonate with me this way.

335

:

He, um, he said something like, I'm

just gonna paraphrase it a little

336

:

bit, but he is like living with a

modern nervous system is like living

337

:

in a house where the burglar alarm

and the doorbell make the same sound.

338

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

339

:

Oh boy.

340

:

Yeah.

341

:

Jillian Pransky: So, um, we're on.

342

:

You can't relax when you're on alert.

343

:

Like, period, full stop.

344

:

The nervous system, it, it's

designed to not relax, which is

345

:

why I was really, really, really

motivated to write this book.

346

:

Now, I, I don't know anyone who

doesn't have some level of anxiety.

347

:

I just don't,

348

:

I don't know.

349

:

Maybe it's the world I I live in, but, um,

350

:

um.

351

:

Telling someone to relax if their nervous

system doesn't feel safe, should make

352

:

them more anxious because relaxation

would be a threat, which is why I start

353

:

with landing and arriving, before we

even get to relax, the support and the

354

:

breathing and the safety and the shift

neurological messages wise and, and, and

355

:

vagus nerve stimulation wise are in place

before we're even exploring relaxation.

356

:

And, um, I also talk a

lot about relaxation.

357

:

Doesn't necessarily mean a letting go.

358

:

It doesn't mean I have

to let go of something.

359

:

It doesn't mean I even have

to stop doing anything.

360

:

It's creating awareness around the way

we're not relaxed around our tension.

361

:

And I talk a lot about

it physically first.

362

:

Um, so physically, whether it's your jaw

or your shoulders, or your hands, um, how

363

:

we might notice that without judging it.

364

:

You know, uh, Christiana Wolf, who we both

know as well, has a great, a great phrase.

365

:

Um, self-compassion is throughout this

whole practice, but there's actually,

366

:

we, we practice compassion in the attend

in the second lar, but no, can we notice

367

:

the tension we have and can we just have

compassion for ourselves for having it?

368

:

She talks about that in the form of pain.

369

:

So maybe saying like, recognizing

our tension is a relaxation,

370

:

bre, grounding, breathing, noticing,

yes, maybe you can unhinging your jaw,

371

:

maybe you can drop your shoulders, maybe

you can unfurl your hands to get to the

372

:

deeper, that's like surface tension.

373

:

That's the easy stuff to get to.

374

:

The deeper tension is much

more a compassion practice.

375

:

It is much more a being with practice.

376

:

I have this in my first

book, deep Listening.

377

:

I talk a lot about the difference

between letting go and creating space.

378

:

And we think a lot about if I

just let go of that, I'll be okay.

379

:

Um, but I think about

it the more we ground.

380

:

Arrive.

381

:

The more we land and arrive, the

more space we have in our body.

382

:

The tension doesn't become as

constricting as, um, high focused.

383

:

If you're not grounded in breathing.

384

:

The tension is literally leading the show.

385

:

We are constantly reacting

from our stress response.

386

:

Tension is the stress response,

finding a home in the body.

387

:

So we are living our life from a

reactive place of this tension,

388

:

grounding, and breathing.

389

:

Bringing ourselves into an awareness,

uh, creating space so that this tension

390

:

is a, not the, um, the lead of the show.

391

:

I, I liken it to, if you have a shot glass

and you have a, a, a teaspoon of salt

392

:

and you put the salt in the shot glass,

you have a particular salty solution.

393

:

And then if you take a mug and you have

the same teaspoon of salt, your tension,

394

:

the way you're not relaxed and you put

it in the mug, same amount of salt.

395

:

Different solution.

396

:

If you take a huge thermos or you

know, a bathtub and you put the same

397

:

teaspoon in the bathtub, still there.

398

:

More space.

399

:

As it dissipates, it's less salty.

400

:

So when our tension gets a bigger

body, gets a more grounded space,

401

:

gets more breath, gets more

support, it's not as concentrated,

402

:

we can visit with it more easily.

403

:

We are more able to make friends

with it, be compassionate.

404

:

We are able to choose to relax

on purpose because we've already

405

:

calmed our nervous system.

406

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

407

:

So that tension could be

your, your physical tension.

408

:

Christiana Wolf is our expert on

that in terms of pain and chronic

409

:

pain in what she does with that.

410

:

But it also could be your worry, your

worry about losing your job or, um,

411

:

I've been working a lot, I mean this

time of year with people around family

412

:

and conflict within the families and

conversations within the families.

413

:

And how do I sit at the dinner table

with, you know, this group of people and

414

:

it is creating that, that bigger space

you write in your book in particular

415

:

around this chapter, um, relax That

learning to relax is learning to be

416

:

with tension, it's not getting rid of

it, which I love very act consistent.

417

:

Uh, I wanna make sure we make it

through all six of these practices.

418

:

Jillian Pransky: Can the these

first, this first three LAR?

419

:

The first LAR to me is a physical.

420

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

421

:

Hmm.

422

:

Jillian Pransky: Somatic, bottom

up, rewiring, re reregulating the

423

:

nervous system and practicing.

424

:

Practicing this regularly all

the time to me is the foundation.

425

:

For them working with listening,

listening to our emotions,

426

:

listening to our thoughts, listening

to the messages of our body.

427

:

I feel like the more practical, somatic

embodiment sets the stage for then really

428

:

checking in and noticing and listening.

429

:

What am I carrying in my.

430

:

Any part of my hourglass, um, you know,

I might be stuck down there in the sand,

431

:

not just in this clear, open what's here,

but, um, the listening, the attending, the

432

:

either repeating over and over again or

responding, I'll get to that in a moment.

433

:

But Lar lar, the first

lar is a bottom up job.

434

:

It's we communicate messages to our body.

435

:

From our body to our brain that there

is support here, there is safety here.

436

:

We switch our breathing

to support that as well.

437

:

And we come into relationship with our

body, with the physical tension that

438

:

we're carrying, with our ability to

relax on purpose, which may simply be

439

:

acknowledging and, and, um, befriending,

you know, the state that we're in.

440

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

441

:

Do you feel that many of us

fast forward through those three

442

:

Jillian Pransky: Well,

443

:

I feel like We start with the, yeah.

444

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

445

:

start with like, listen,

listen to your feelings.

446

:

What is it telling you?

447

:

And you're like, I am so

dysregulated, I can't even

448

:

Jillian Pransky: And meditation and,

and a lot of our meditative practice.

449

:

Listen, I've been meditating all my

life pretty much except for nine years

450

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

451

:

Yeah.

452

:

Jillian Pransky: My 57.

453

:

I've been a meditator, but

most, most meditators meditation

454

:

practices until more recently.

455

:

The last decade, especially

maybe the last two.

456

:

They're not very somatic.

457

:

There's most of the instruction it,

even if it's somatic, the parts that

458

:

have been pulled out and passed on

and taught in group environments

459

:

to beginners, bypasses the body.

460

:

So

461

:

even if that's not the lineages intention,

a lot of the ways it's delivered in

462

:

modern teaching has for many decades.

463

:

And for much of, you know, many,

many decades bypass the body in

464

:

these me meditation lessons that have

to do with working with the mind.

465

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

466

:

Yeah.

467

:

Jillian Pransky: For

me, it was to come back.

468

:

My, my, my place in this landscape

is inviting people back to start with

469

:

the body so we can set conditions

to be able to work with the mind.

470

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

471

:

And that sort of is the, the key

component from yoga that I think that

472

:

you bring, because we could, we could

flip it and say that modern yoga.

473

:

Is over focused on the body and

not tending to these, these second,

474

:

the second half of your lar la,

which has to do with the listening.

475

:

And how do you wanna respond?

476

:

Like the actual, I would

say that's more of the.

477

:

Also behavioral component of, um, how

does this, how do we act in the moment?

478

:

How do we use the pause to choose the

action that we want to be engaging in?

479

:

So you, you have this

beautiful blending of the two.

480

:

Yeah.

481

:

So, so, second Lar.

482

:

Second Lar.

483

:

Jillian Pransky: so, so I'll start

by saying also as we get into

484

:

the second lar, the word LAR in

485

:

Portuguese, and I had been

teaching this formally from:

486

:

It wasn't until like 2022 that I learned

that LAR means home in Portuguese.

487

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

488

:

oh.

489

:

Jillian Pransky: I had a

Portuguese student and, and like

490

:

La Dolce la home sweet home.

491

:

And, um, I just love that by sheer

coincidence, the practice of pausing

492

:

using the techniques of LAR LAR is a

deep coming home, like into our bodies,

493

:

into our nervous system to, to re.

494

:

Have a, to, to renew a relationship

with our body and our nervous

495

:

system in a way that we can really

feel at home and safe and at ease.

496

:

So we can begin to open up to the lifetime

of experiences that our mind has taken in

497

:

and maybe even our parents' experiences

and our grandparents and our lineage

498

:

and whatever we're carrying through.

499

:

Um, you know what we.

500

:

The way we, we, we behave in the

world and the way we live and react.

501

:

And, um, so the second LAR

is a way of working with, um.

502

:

Our ability to be present with what we

find now that we're, now that we feel

503

:

more safe and grounded, um, what's here?

504

:

Let's listen, let's notice and listening

and attending really happen in tandem.

505

:

They, it is hard to separate them

because the flavor of listening

506

:

and I'm very inspired by, um.

507

:

The Chinese, um, symbol for listening.

508

:

It is not only how we bring our

attention to using the ear and the

509

:

eye and our undivided attention,

but it's all held by the heart.

510

:

And so as we begin to notice if we just,

and if we just use the word listen.

511

:

Listen to what?

512

:

Listen to what's there.

513

:

Like, who's not gonna listen to their body

and their mind and not be disappointed.

514

:

Who's not gonna be more sad or upset

or angry or judgmental, or wanna fix,

515

:

or wanna change or you know, it's

time to switch this whole thing up.

516

:

I don't know anybody who's

gonna listen in and be like,

517

:

ah, yeah, that's what I thought.

518

:

We are disappointed by, by often.

519

:

By what we find when we

check in with ourselves.

520

:

So having some self-compassion attending

to ourselves, literally creating a,

521

:

with warm awareness, um, with a more,

um, with more emphasis on friendship.

522

:

And, uh, like Christiana Wolf said, as I

quoted earlier, she uses, could we just.

523

:

Have compassion for the

fact that we're in pain.

524

:

Could we just have compassion

for what we find something we're

525

:

not trained to do or used to do?

526

:

You know, it feels like pity or sympathy,

and that's not what I'm talking about.

527

:

But neurologically, you know, you

know, and I'm sure many people

528

:

listening, if you are, if you add more

aggression on top of what you find.

529

:

It's gonna get better at

digging in its neural roots.

530

:

If you are, you know, more, you

know, just trying to hammer the

531

:

changes and fix what's there.

532

:

Instead of acknowledging the presence

of what's there with friendship and

533

:

warmth, you create more ability to

further react to those emotional

534

:

patterns and those reactive patterns.

535

:

So if we want, if, if the, the moral

of the story for the power of the pause

536

:

is my wish is that we develop a new

capacity to not only tolerate what we

537

:

find, but to befriend what we find.

538

:

So we keep our brain online in a way

that allows us to make more wise,

539

:

compassionate choices for ourselves and

each other and the collective like that

540

:

is my greatest hope with this book.

541

:

Listening with a warmth is the ingredient

that is essential to keep our brain

542

:

online in a way that gives us more choice

and doesn't limit us to the behaviors

543

:

of, you know, aggression, withdrawal

or avoidance, but instead opens up the

544

:

possibility of curiosity, creativity.

545

:

It might even, you know, allow

us to say, you know, maybe I'm

546

:

wrong, maybe I don't understand.

547

:

It allows us to stop repeating the

same story in ourselves and believing

548

:

it the same way, but also more

equally importantly, others, I might

549

:

be in the same fight with the same

person, and maybe for the first time,

550

:

maybe I'll say, maybe I'm wrong.

551

:

Maybe I don't understand

552

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

553

:

so liberating.

554

:

Yeah.

555

:

For all involved.

556

:

So you write, uh, with our, with this step

of listening, we are learning to pause

557

:

so we can listen without the filter of

our habitual protective mechanisms, so

558

:

that rather than being hijacked by our

reactive tendency to become defensive,

559

:

shut down or make assumptions about.

560

:

What is being said, we are better

able to meet whatever arises with

561

:

curiosity and then you move on to

attend and you write, I am okay.

562

:

All of my feelings are welcome here.

563

:

Attending to ourselves, we explore

what is the sensation, how do I

564

:

feel, what do I notice about my

body right now, what is here?

565

:

And all of these lead up to sort of

the culmin, like the CO and all of

566

:

these lead up to the culminating like,

and all of these lead up to this.

567

:

Final step of respond.

568

:

And you also said, repeat last R of

LAR la ALAR I like la la too, because

569

:

I actually like how it feels to say it.

570

:

La la la.

571

:

In the same way that the word home is,

is a, is the very soothing word to say.

572

:

It's almost a little mantra too.

573

:

LAR LAR.

574

:

So we respond and we repeat.

575

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah.

576

:

Yeah.

577

:

Well, I throw the repeat

in there is because.

578

:

What I have learned, and again, you

know, I really wanna emphasize, I,

579

:

I've been practicing most of my life.

580

:

Truly, it's a lifestyle.

581

:

I, it's almost, you know, yes, it's

a practice, but it's a lifestyle.

582

:

I can still lose it.

583

:

Like I might get off this podcast and

have an unskillful conversation with my

584

:

22-year-old who's living here with me.

585

:

It's hard.

586

:

Um, so by repeat I mean, you know,

there's no day when this is done.

587

:

And just because we,

and, and that was one of.

588

:

Biggest gifts I've gotten from,

you know, Pema Choden, even still

589

:

in her last, uh, live workshop.

590

:

And I, I still am visiting with

all of her live teachings online

591

:

that she continues to do, which

she still repeats the same thing.

592

:

She's almost 90 and she's still saying

like, practice is a daily choice, a daily

593

:

choice, something we choose again and

again, and we don't just do this practice.

594

:

We respond great for

the rest of our lives.

595

:

Every single moment.

596

:

We deserve the opportunity to

choose a response we deserve.

597

:

And, and it's gonna be different.

598

:

It, we could, it could look like

the same opportunity, it could

599

:

look like the same situation.

600

:

We're never in the same situation.

601

:

And, um, the other thing with respond

is a lot of people believe if I,

602

:

if I learn how to pause and I get

clear and I get more intentional.

603

:

Then I'll know how to respond.

604

:

And one of my favorite teachings,

this is another big teacher

605

:

of mine, is Eric Schiffman.

606

:

Is, um, no, you don't know.

607

:

Like, we don't know how, if you know

how you're gonna respond in advance.

608

:

Mm.

609

:

You might wanna, um.

610

:

Stand guard against the idea that you, um,

are, you know that that fixed idea of how

611

:

you're gonna res respond is really gonna

be in best service of that moment that.

612

:

Being able to open up our brains

for wider awareness and still

613

:

stay alert and attentive to what's

happening and choose in the moment.

614

:

You know, like a GPS conditions are

always being updated at any given

615

:

moment and what seemed to be the right

route in one moment, a second later

616

:

may no longer be the right route.

617

:

We, the better we get at being present

and choosing our response in real time.

618

:

The closer we get to responding from

our body, our heart, our mind, the other

619

:

person, the conditions of the environment,

what's really, truly going to be, uh,

620

:

I don't know, just more organically

helpful in that moment, I think.

621

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

622

:

So the six practices all build on

each other, and then they become

623

:

a, a circle, a cycle, a repetition.

624

:

And for those of you that want to, um.

625

:

Take a deeper dive into

each one of these practices.

626

:

Go look up the Power of the Pause,

but like you can also find a

627

:

lot of resources from Jillian.

628

:

You can go with her to

Costa Rica if you'd like.

629

:

Um, but you can also see her at Omega.

630

:

You can see her at Essent.

631

:

She's all over the place, and she

has a lot of online teachings and

632

:

trainings at her website, which

is just your name, isn't it?

633

:

Is it

634

:

Jillian Pransky: Yeah, Jillian pransky.com

635

:

and Friday mornings I

teach a free meditation.

636

:

Anybody's invited.

637

:

We're a community of people all over

the world, and I think maybe I'll end

638

:

by saying that as I, as I, as we wrap

up, is that what became the real calling

639

:

card for me to write this book now.

640

:

Well, it's been my

practice all along is:

641

:

I went online with my teaching and

even though these have been of interest

642

:

to me, my, you know, all these years.

643

:

My audience, my community grew so diverse

being online, um, not only all over the

644

:

world, but ethnicities and races and

ages and experience levels, and the Power

645

:

of the Pause was really born out of an

urgency of what I heard from everybody

646

:

about the stress they're carrying.

647

:

To bring this practice off the mat

and into our lives, into our families,

648

:

our communities, into the world.

649

:

But also to make it simple enough

650

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

651

:

Mm-hmm.

652

:

Jillian Pransky: was written

for the person who's not gonna

653

:

find a free meditation, who's

654

:

not gonna come to yoga class, who's never

gonna roll out a yoga mat or a cushion.

655

:

And, um, may it serve all of

us who've been practicing for

656

:

decades and may it serve, um.

657

:

You know, the person who is gifted it,

but would, would never even think of,

658

:

um, how do I do a meditation practice?

659

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

660

:

Exactly, because the last thing

you want when you're overwhelmed

661

:

is something that's complex.

662

:

So for all of us, even, even

people that have been practicing

663

:

for decades, we all go back to the

same simple, most basic practices.

664

:

The ones that are nervous system crave,

not, that maybe our striving mind want.

665

:

And that's what your book really offers.

666

:

It's um, it's soothing to read.

667

:

It has the mantras built in.

668

:

It has your story and your

voice, which now that people have

669

:

heard you, we just want more of.

670

:

And it gives you a path.

671

:

It gives you a practice that you

can repeat over and over again so

672

:

you can gift it to your family,

your friends, your clients, but

673

:

then you also gift it to yourself.

674

:

Thank you for this beautiful piece of

work, and I'm so excited that this is

675

:

launching into the world in January.

676

:

And you can go find it anywhere

where you find your books.

677

:

Jillian Pransky: Thank you so much.

678

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

679

:

Yeah.

680

:

Jillian Pransky: Thank you so much.

681

:

You are an inspiration.

682

:

I, I just, I love your book.

683

:

I love how you are

sharing it with the world.

684

:

I love all the ways you are showing up

and, um, you know, just sharing your

685

:

energy, your insight, and your wisdom.

686

:

So thank you.

687

:

And I hope we're at Costa Rica at

the same time again, sometimes soon

688

:

or if not, somewhere on purpose.

689

:

Dr. Diana Hill (new overdub March 2024):

690

:

Wonderful.

691

:

Thank you,

692

:

Dr. Diana Hill:

693

:

Thank you so much for listening to this

episode of the Wise Effort podcast.

694

:

Wise effort is about you taking

your energy and putting it in the

695

:

places that matter most to you.

696

:

And when you do so you'll get to savor

the good of your life along the way.

697

:

If you would like to become

a member of the Wise Effort

698

:

podcast, go to wise effort.com.

699

:

And if you liked this episode and it

would be helpful to somebody, please

700

:

leave a review over at Podchaser.

701

:

I would like to thank my team, my

partner, in all things, including

702

:

the producer of this podcast, Craig.

703

:

Ashley Hiatt, the podcast manager.

704

:

And thank you to Ben Gould at

Bell and Branch for our music.

705

:

This podcast is for informational

and entertainment purposes only.

706

:

And it's not meant to be a substitute

for mental health treatments.

All Episodes Previous Episode
Get the latest Wise Effort information!

Get the latest Wise Effort information!

Gain the wisdom and skills to help you put your energy into the life you want to live. I’m ready to help you get there.

    Listen for free

    Show artwork for The Wise Effort Show

    About the Podcast

    The Wise Effort Show
    The Science and Practice of Putting Your Energy Where It Matters Most
    The Wise Effort Show with Dr. Diana Hill is a show about how to live wisely.

    You’ll learn how to put your energy into places that matter most to you while making a difference in the world.

    This show is for you if:
    ...you’re a high achiever feeling burned out from tasks that don’t matter.
    ...you want to invest your energy in fulfilling and sustainable ways.
    ...you seek holistic living without the pressure of a rigid wellness checklist.
    ...you care about your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
    ...you appreciate science but are open to exploring spirituality and contemplative practices.
    ...you have an open, beginner’s mind.
    ...you believe there’s a better way to live and are ready to apply your wisdom.

    We don’t have to burn ourselves out or engage in things that are not worth it. We can put our energy where it matters most and savor the good along the way.

    Join us at the Wise Effort Show!

    About your host

    Profile picture for Diana Hill

    Diana Hill

    Diana Hill, PhD is a clinical psychologist, international trainer and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. Host of the podcast Wise Effort with Dr. Diana Hill and author of The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, The ACT Daily Journal, and the upcoming book Wise Effort, Diana works with organizations and individuals to develop psychological flexibility so that they can grow fulfilling and impactful lives.

    Integrating her over 20 years of meditation experience with yoga and psychological training, Diana guest teaches at InsightLA, Blue Spirit Costa Rica, PESI, Praxis Continuing Education, Yoga Soup and Insight Timer Meditation. She is on the board for the Institute for Better Health, and blogs for Psychology Today and Mindful.org. Diana practices what she preaches in her daily life as a mom of two boys and bee guardian. Go to drdianahill.com or her channels on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube (@drdianahill) to learn more.